Fitness First - Working Hard or Hardly Working?

Just went to my local fitness first.

Upon arrival I was greeted by the usual pop music blaring along with pictures of smiling faces, chatter, barely any excercise being done and girls with enough make-up on to rival their Saturday night counterparts. As I attempted to block this out of my mind and begin my workout I soon found that there was no chin-up bars in the gym! I searched for 10min but zilch. So I began my workout minus the chinups. As i gradually moved through my exercises I took in my suroundings and noticed that I was probably the only person working out, not only this but but I was greeted with a sense of hostility. Who was this stranger with a, what is that? Crossfit shirt? Infidel? How incredibly vulgar and politically incorrect, he obviously didn't know there was a Nike store sale on the weekend, surely he could have purchased a new dri-fit custom made shirt with air holes for his armpits just in case his heart rate goes above 70. As I tried to ignore the reproachful eyes Of my new gym buddies I moved on to my last exercise, the deadlift.

I begun on the lone Olympic bar, after removing the cobwebs, doing 60kg deadlifts. And people stared at me in amazement! as if I was some kind of Herculean giant, who was this man who could surely move mountains? 60kg! He must be on roids. And as I began to puff, the people around me looked at me quizzically, why they thought, why is this man exerting himself in a gym! Why is he puffing? Why is he actually breaking a sweat? Were is his designer workout clothes along with iPod armband, and why has he not walked around for half an hour greeting people before commencing a light workout without any physical exertion or sign of straining! As I looked around at these poor people I decided to push them over their limit of sensuality. I begun doing front squats. As everyone stopped what they were doing jaws agape I threw in the craziest manevour they had ever seen, I did, a thruster. And I was not prepared for the consequences. For as I did this thruster, one mans head actually exploded.

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